In the Beginning G-d created the Heaven and Earth and then after six days he rested. This left us without air-conditioning, Julia Child, Quentin Tarantino and the Microwave. He might also have expanded his remit to include other essentials such as the SchicksaChick, Silicone Gel Breast Implants, Liposuction, Laser Hair Removal and of course, Botox. SC’s arrived quite soon after the Big Bang, probably the 9th or 10th day chronologically, but we had to wait another 7000 years to get the rest.
Archive for August, 2009
Nominations please for 3 Categories, one individual per year for each Section.
Category Number 1
Section A. SchicksaChick of the Year, our most coveted award
Suggestions so far: Natalia Vodianova, Lady Gaga, Madonna.
Section B. SchicksaChick Hall of Fame
Suggestions so far: Penelope Cruz, Madonna.
Category Number 2
Section A. Nice Jewish Boy of the Year, our second most coveted award
Suggestions so far: Ariel “Ari” Zev Emanuel (Hollywood Agent)
Section B. Nice Jewish Boy Hall of Fame
Peter Sellars (English Comedian -The Pink Panther Movies)
Category Number 3
Section A. Honorary SchicksaChick of the Year
No suggestions so far:
Section B. Honorary Nice Jewish Boy of the Year
Suggestions so far: Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan
SchicksaChick.com wants to celebrate its first social events in New York City and London. England. Please give your recommendations for venues for this first NJB and SC get-together. Preferably places where voices can be heard. No Churches or Synagogues please. Post suggestions on one of our forums or e-mail us directly at email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org.
P.S. English will be spoken and there will be fun. I will invite the mayor but I doubt he will come. However, maybe we can encourage another Hall of Famer?
In the Jewish religion, usually you are Jewish if your mother is Jewish. But in the United States, many celebrities such as Sarah Jessica Parker (whose father was Jewish) consider themselves NJG’s. SJP is married to Mathew Broderick (NJB). So is SJP Jewish or is she a SchicksaChick? Another example is Gwyneth Paltrow (Father was Jewish) who is married to a non-Jew. Is she a SC or a NJG? Who cares. Point is the line can be pretty murky and maybe even Eva Braun had some Jewish blood?
NJB’s: By definition, a NJB is a mensch and he grows up to marry a NJG. But what happens if he dates or marries a SC?
If the SC converts and becomes a NIce Jewish Girl then he is still a kosher NJB. But if not, is he still a NJB? Who cares. In my opinion, once an NJB, always an NJB. You can take the NJB out of his Jewish community but you can’t take the Jewish upbringing out of the NJB.
The attraction of non-Jewish girls (SchicksaChicks) for Nice-Jewish-Boys (NJB’s) is undoubtedly a long one. It may be rather perplexing to understand why a Jew should stray when he risks being ostracized and worst of all, shunned from the country club and polite after-dinner conversation. Some NJB’s, such as Elliot Spitzer, risk their career to taste the forbidden fruit. Others, such as James Goldsmith, risk nothing and celebrate it as a way of life. Some NJB’s such as Norman Mailer, not only like to upset their Jewish Mothers but also become the kind of guy their mother warned them against as a child. I certainly did.
The ineluctable truth is that there are more non-Jewish girls out there than Nice Jewish girls (NJG’s) duh! They are often more available and willing than some of the NJG’s unless they are Sabras. They are also more blonde non-Jewish girls with blue eyes if you are into that sort of thing. Jews call a non-Jew, a Goy and they call non-Jewish girls, Schicksas, often not in a polite way. However, SchicksaChicks are cute schicksas and very polite. There are many examples in Art such as David’s rendition of the Empress Josephine, Warhol’s Monroe, Lichtenstein’s Comic Book Blondes and in fact most women in Art.